Closure

     The past week has been a whirlwind of goodbyes, graduation, crying, packing and some more goodbyes. As I left Blacksburg for the last time in my undergrad career, I couldn’t help thinking back to my first drive to Virginia Tech for school in the fall of 2008 (I honestly don’t remember it very well). But I do remember the moment when my family pulled away in the car after helping carry all of my stuff to my room. We had unloaded everything, got my computer set up, and finally my mom said, ‘Well, I guess we can go now then.’ On the inside I screamed “No!!!” but on the outside I said, ‘Yup, guess so…’. They hopped in the car, waved goodbye, and there I was, walking down the street, terrified to face one of the largest steps out of my ‘box’ I had ever taken. I had made the decision to go to a school five hours away from home, where I knew virtually noone. I was scared, sad, and excited all at the same time.

     Well those feelings sound familiar. Here I am, entering the next ‘stage’ of life, with the same feelings, right back where I started four years ago! In reality, I think that the past four years have been preparation for this point. I managed to make some amazing friends and have some great memories and experiences in college that will stick with me for a lifetime.

     As I was leaving, I had to say goodbye to all these wonderful memories as I leave not only Virginia Tech and Blacksburg, but the country. I’m not really a closure person, though. I tend to just be a ‘see ya later’ person, even though I know I won’t see you for who knows how long. I also really like to put goodbyes off – oh, I’ll see you again before I leave, right? Maybe it is because I haven’t needed closure before, I’ve never moved, and saying goodbye just emphasizes the fact that someone’s leaving and it is just sad!

    Well I felt the need for closure of my college career, especially since I knew that my goodbyes couldn’t be followed by the usual ‘I’ll come and visit soon’. But how do you sum up four years of amazing relationships and fun experiences in just one simple goodbye? You can’t. I think that’s what makes it so hard not to cry! I am definitely NOT a big crier, but as I think about how much these people mean to me and how I won’t see them for so long, it’s hard not to. But it’s good to cry, it always relieves some kind of pressure that builds up inside. As I leave, I can now look back with fond memories and hopefully keep in touch rather than just disappearing from everyone’s lives. I think I have finally convinced myself that closure is a good thing!